art.ist: n. 1. One who is able by virtue of imagination and talent or skill to create works of aesthetic value.
Creating art has always been a struggle for me, which will probably furrow eyebrows given that some find the experience to be relaxing and calming. I feel tension, mostly, to create. It feels innate, like a pulse that is always beating, always driving. And if I don't produce, I am frustrated and anxious, driven even harder to produce something better than what I failed to produce before. The only moments that feel free of tension are when I let myself go. When I forget that I have checks to write or taxes to organize or the pediatrician to call. When the guilt I feel in prioritizing art over more pressing obligations finally subsides. That is when I am free to release what is trapped in my mind. That is when I feel the calm.
